It may come as a surprise to you that not everyone thinks I’m the sweetheart you all know me to be! I know. Crazy, right? In fact, in the time that I’ve been writing for the public, I’ve received a fair share of nasty comments and emails. I can understand some of the dissension—I curse a lot and I write about sex—but lately I’ve received some backlash that attacks my feelings on feminism. This is unfair because feminism isn’t or shouldn’t be about what you look like and how you are treated.
What Feminism Doesn’t Mean
Feminism Doesn’t Mean You Have to be Plain
The first article I wrote for Loveawake, The Tomboy’s Guide to Make-Up, inspired an entire blog post telling me to “fuck off.” Pretty harsh words. What she interpreted from that article was, “You can go and do your boy things. But you have to look fabulous while doing so.” That’s not what I said. My article openly states that it’s meant to show you “how a tomboy can apply [make-up] while being practical.” If you believe that women don’t need makeup to be beautiful, that’s fine. I agree. Just don’t knock a woman down because she chooses to wear makeup while playing with, or like, the boys.
Sometimes, women seem to go out of their way to tone it down when they’re running bases or kicking soccer balls. Why is this? I think it’s because they fear others won’t be able to look behind the glitz or glamour and take them seriously. It comes down to wanting the same respect the opposite sex gets.
Personally, I want to wear makeup when playing football because I want to flaunt my femininity and still show that I can throw a pass better than the guys. Does this mean that I think that all women have to wear makeup when they play football? Of course not. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t call it “ridiculous” if a woman wants to wear makeup while playing sports, because you never know if she may be able to kick your ass. And look fabulous doing it.
Feminism Doesn’t Mean That You Have To Be a Hairy Lumberjack
I also received an email on my article about Brazilian waxing proclaiming, “Every woman who waxes off all of their pubic hair is attacking the root of feminism.” At first, I thought this was a joke because not only is that an awful pun, but it’s also just absurd. When did feminism become rooted in my pubic hair? Waxing is not a political statement! Even if I agreed with relating the deed to feminism, couldn’t it be said that the feminist ideal is to expose and embrace every inch of my womanhood instead of hiding it under a thicket of hair? Think about it.
If you want to grow your bush and make it into a beautifully hairy garden, I support you. There’s no judgment from me. So, can I have the same courtesy and not be blasted for removing all of mine? I’m sorry to the woman who thinks that the feminist movement has been damaged by my decision to wax. But my vagina is my vagina. I’m the only one with a right to comment on it.
Feminism Is Understanding The Difference Between Mutual Respect And Loving Women For Being Women
I love that you want to support other women. I see the value in female bonding. Hell, I wrote a guide on how to be friends with other chicks. With that said, I don’t subscribe to the fact that since we both have X chromosomes, it means I have to be your best friend or your loudest supporter. Just as not all men are assholes, not all women are our sisters. If you were to look at the comments, emails, or blog posts written in response to some of my articles, you’ll notice that they have all been made by other women.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But when you try and beat it down another person’s throat, I become angry. By attacking instead of discussing, you are devaluing me as a person in the same way that the women of the original Feminist Movement were treated, as inferior. I won’t allow anyone, man or woman, to walk all over me. And that’s why I’m not going to change a fucking thing about my writing. I’m going to continue to write about sex. I’m going to continue to curse. I will keep calling people out on their bullshit. Because I know that my opinion matters and, furthermore, I believe in myself and what I have to say. This is my Feminism. What’s yours?