Don't exclude yourself.


Ketan Anjaria

One of the things that comes up often in coaching is people self excluding.

"Oh I'm not young enough for that."

"Oh I don't have those skills."

"That would never work for me."

While I totally get that sometimes it's very easy to feel alone in your struggles, the truth is most problems are very common.

I've talked to VPs at Google who have impostor syndrome and I've talked to brand new grads that feel like they can't make it. It's all the same.

It can be really a good feeling sometimes to fight the "other". To give a name and voice to separation.

I've done it myself plenty of times. (Hello fundraising!)

But overall self-exclusion hurts more than helps.

There are definite patterns you see in hiring. Tech is often young and lacks diversity.

Women don't get paid enough.

But that doesn't mean you can't be the exception.

Patterns are meant to be broken.

Self-exclusion sometimes really is a lack of self acceptance.

The things we say to ourselves, we would never say to a child or a friend. We are own worst enemy.

When you exclude yourself, are you saying you don't deserve success?

If so, who is going to change that?

Even a coach can't change that.

You have to do the work. I know, because I struggle with this as well.

I pit myself as an "outsider" and it makes me feel good but it doesn't make me do the work of asking why I let myself talk to myself that way.

There will always be odds against you, that's just the game.

But don't be against yourself.


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